Learning

Allright, so this was such a good week compared to last week...wow - clinical was so good and now I decided that I really actually like nursing, and changing dressings and giving meds - yeah when I feel like I know a little bit of what I am doing, then it is a good thing. So crazy though, how quickly emotions can change, and how much I base what I feel on my circumstances instead of on what Jesus says about me and my situation, which is eternal and never changes - I guess that's why our relationship with God is based on faith instead of feelings huh?! Yes, may we live by believing even though we have not seen Him, for He is faithful and will not give us more than we can bear - hmmm, learning how to rely on His strength and not my own, yeah I tend to think I can do many things on my own strength - like control my life and do nursing, but really all I have learned is that I am nothing without Him and that life just really does not go well if I don't make Jesus a part of it.

I went to 725 at Springs tonight for the first time in my life, and was reminded that to become passionate about Jesus and living a life that is not slumbering spiritually I need to get so much more into the Word - like actually reading more than a few verses before I go to sleep (which is sometimes what I tend to do late at night) and yeah, I've noticed that the more I read my Bible, the more I realize that I need it; but if I don't read it very often, I often don't even really miss it that much...oh how I need You Jesus in every area of my life, to keep talking to you throughout my day and to know Your voice and Your Presence daily - would you give me the eyes to see the opportunities you give me everyday - to love those who no one else loves and to actually put You first in my life.

Letters on Hearts

So I sure have not written here in a very long time - life has a way of going to fast for me sometimes, right now it feels like my life is flying by in front of me and I can't seem to catch up, where has all the time gone - it seems like school just started a while ago and yet it seems like I have already been here forever. I guess I just don't want to miss out on this time in my life by being too busy with all my homework - although it seems like that's exactly what is happening. When I get to the end of my nursing years, will it all have been worth it, will I actually be where I want to be?

The challenge for me right now is to keep Jesus in the center of my life even when I feel so crazy busy with all my homework - and then it feels like I have no time for Him. But when I realize that I'm doing all this for Him in the first place, it takes all the pressure off me to succeed and then I can rest in the fact that He is looking out for me and He will prepare the way before me, I just need to walk in the path he has placed before me and to take the opportunities He gives me everyday to love people with His love.

I read Oswald Chambers, "My Utmost for His Hightest," and he always talks about how the real life of Jesus is lived out in everyday life when it seems mundane, and not always just in the times of inspiration when you feel all on fire and passionate about God - although those are good times too - but my life and relationship with Jesus needs to be evident even in the times when I don't feel like I'm impacting anyone for Jesus or in the times when all I seem to do is homework and I'm just longing to do ministry and missions - but I need to realize that as Matthew 25:31-46 says, when I love the least of these, I love Him...when I take the time to actually listen to someone because they are depressed or just need to talk, I am listening to Him, when I care for someone in the hospital even though they're really smelly or something, I am caring for Him. Hmmm, yeah that's good, I need to learn how to see Jesus in everyone, maybe that's how I'll get through nursing, live every moment with the awareness that Jesus is right there beside me to give me the strength and courage to keep on going - look to Him, for He alone is worthy.

I was also reading in 2 Corinthians 3:1-6, where Paul talks about how some people need to bring letters of recommendation with them, but that Paul's letter of recommendation is seen in the lives of the people he has told about Jesus, not a letter written with pen on paper, but a letter written on human hearts with the Spirit of the living God. So neat! May your hearts be a letter that the Holy Spirit is continually writing on as you are changed to be more like Jesus everyday!